My experience

[admin]

Feel free to ask me any question.
My personality is to be a 'fixer' and a 'doer'. But God is trying to get me to be more of a 'be-er'. To rest and trust in Him more.

Ultimately I trust in God's sovereignty, His love, and that 'Father knows best'. He knows the big picture, I don't. I cannot come close to counting how many times, bad has turned around to good in my life. I use to sabotage everything-but now I trust that God is on my side and that I deserve goodness to come my way as I am obedient. I believe the more we are obedient the more we receive the favor of God. I now try hard to not get in the way of whatever blessing God has for me.

[julian]

Good evening Richard.

I guess i'm in the 'sabotage' stage and self restrict because of that. I remember my mother telling me when she found me crying alone because i had no friends, that to have a friend one must first be a friend (and i suppose i've naturally progressed that to being 'to be loved one must first love'). How can anyone (god or human) love me when i can't love myself?

I envy you and your relationship with your god.

..julian

[admin]

The good news is that nobody else may love you and you may not love yourself, but God loves you and I, in spite of us. There is nothing we have done, doing now, or doing in the future that will shock or surprise. Yet, He loves us as His creation. That does not mean there are not consequences for our behavior, but God's love is unconditional.

Believe me, it took me many years to finally know this in my heart instead of just in my head.

Many times we measure God's love by the bad things that happen to us. 'If God loves me', He would not allow...'. When looking at these situations we must always remember we live in a fallen world where God allows people free will. Thus some people choose to be evil and do evil things to others. But God will give the grace to overcome the evil that has been done to us if are willing to give it all to Him. Vengeance is His.

Sorry to hear that you do not love yourself-I have been there. Even now, there are certain things I do not like about myself. I separate 'like' from 'love'. There are certain things that I don't like about my wife or the people that I minister to on a daily basis. But I love them. Yes, I love them. I will do whatever I can to be a support and encouragement to them. You must understand that was not me. At one time I did not have love for anyone, especially myself. That is why I was suicidal for so long. I could not receive love (and sabotaged it all the time), because 'I do not deserve love'. That is a lie. Every human being deserves to be loved. However, that being said, again, because of a person's actions, there may be conditions on HOW they are loved.

Hope this helps.

I know nothing about your story, but I know the horrific, even evil, stories of some people and I have a love for them. I know there are others besides me. Thus, you too are a person that can be loved.

Clarification-obviously I love my wife different than a gutter drunk. But I still have a love for them in the sense to try and help them out of the pit.

[changingtobefree]

i think you're right wendy, it doesn't really matter what others think. as long as someone finds the help they need.
amisha, i ask for gods help quite a bit. sometimes i ask for his help as long as he'll let me stay in controll... but god doesn't seem to respond to that so well, ha ha. usually when i'm beaten down by a situation to the point that i KNOW i can't handle it or control it, then can i be humble enough to give the situation to god in it's entrirety. at that point he seems to take it all from me and head me in the right direction and usually give me hope to know that it will be ok.