i don't remember you telling me about a tumor! that's not good at all. that has to be scary all on it's own, much less all the other stressors... and i know how it is waiting for the other shoe to drop. things are great in a relationship, but just being used to something going wrong.. i find it so hard to let something good, just be good! ha ha. it's not always easy to be ok being ok. but i found at times that it sure is releaving to not keep looking for the approaching storm when the sky is clear
i'm glad this guy is treating you good. you certainly deserve it. try not to look too much into it and let things be what they are.
i sent julian a pm too, but haven't heard back from him. hopefully he's just away from the boards doing well. seems like when people get well for a while they lean on the boards less. i know i do sometimes.
i've been well for the most part. i'm almost done with my divorce finally! it's just been hard. since i've been clean and get to talk to the kids more i've been sending my money to them and not paying for the divorce. their mom and i have been getting along fairly well, but i'm kind of afraid to be in a relationship with her. but i'm kind of afriad to not be in a relationship. so this feels safe to me because she's 300 miles away in a different state. so now i'm not looking for a girlfriend and i'm getting to talk to the kids and all. i'm just not feeling right about this relationship.
the best part is that i've almost got 8 months clean from any drugs! that's the only chance i've got. the minute i start using i seem to loose most all control of everything around me and it all just falls apart... fast.
this time of year is hard. hell, this time last year i was SO far down the hole it was sick... i was suicidal, had a needle in my arm all the time, hadn't spoken to the kids in a year and a half, didn't like my marriage, my wife didn't either (obviously) because she'd been cheating... it was just so rough. so it's kind of strange because i'm so grateful for where i am, but it seems so scary because i've always felt down around this time of year and i'm just trying to be very careful to not fall off! but for now, as in today i'm pretty sure i'll be ok if i just keep on doing what i need to and being as honest as i can...
so good to hear from you!
and yeah, the new boards are AWESOME!!!
i like the new topics too!