Dieting,
Could it be the problem rather than the solution?
It seems as if protein diets are in vogue again. It's amazing that the diet industry, one of the most prosperous sectors of American commerce, is so successful even though ultimately it fails us. The industry has convinced us that it is our shortcomings that have caused us to gain weight back that we've lost. Or, it's insinuated that we are failures if we've been unable to lose weight in the first place. In no other business have sales been continually attained by remerchandising a lemon. It is the rare occasion that we would buy a car of the same make and style that has caused us nothing but problems. Nor would we blame ourselves again and again because the car had transmission trouble. We know the product is culpable. Yet, when it comes to diets, we always think maybe this time it will be different.
So many of us have tried fad diets, herbs, support groups, diet pills, and anything else that came our way. We have viewed food as the enemy, with the possible exception of lettuce and celery. Some of us do the best we can to take care of ourselves with proper hygiene, getting regular check-ups, going for massages, reading good books, and going out socially. Nonetheless, we are quick to punish ourselves by either restricting our intake of food, exercising excessively, or hating ourselves for eating something we've deemed forbidden. Although there is no precedent, what a change it would be to eat what we want with no thought of good and bad foods. Of course, this would take some getting used to. We'd have to relearn how to eat. Imagine what it would be like if we ate when our bodies told us we were hungry. And we stopped when our stomachs communicated our fullness. That means listening to our individual bodies. Since each one of us is unique, what and how we eat is particular to each one of us. Unlike the diet industry, there are no other programs or businesses that dictate other bodily functions. No one has come up with a better way to regulate when we go to the bathroom. We go when our bodies tell us we have to go. There are no advertisements that suggest we breathe a certain amount of air per hour or day, and that we are weak for breathing on an as-needed basis. And, yet, we allow ourselves to be bamboozled into thinking that by following someone else's food program, and paying good money to do so, we can gain control of our lives.
There was a time in infancy when our bodies regulated our hunger and satiation. We fed on demand. There is no denying a crying baby who is hungry. However, once we move into solid foods, the rules change. We start moving away from our own instincts and start listening to those who tout the latest "health" or diet fads. Part of the problem is that, as a society, we buy into the propaganda, which tells us that thin is in. Since so few people have the bodies we see in magazines and commercials, and this includes the models themselves, we fight a losing battle of the bulge. We learn early to be dissatisfied with our bodies. This way we fall prey to the multi-billion dollar diet industry.
Eating is no longer pleasurable, but becomes an imaginary test of our willpower. Even when we enjoy an abundant and luscious meal, we feel guilty. We are made to believe that we should consistently deny one of the most gratifying experiences. To replace that experience, we have the choice to over-exercise, drink artificial shakes, prepare prepackaged meals, weigh food, weigh ourselves, and invariably feel bad about our bodies and ourselves. And, yet, we still keep trying another diet, or we go back to the same old program that didn't work the last time.
It's a vicious cycle. The fashion and diet industry contributes to our feelings of inadequacy. We go on a diet, it doesn't work, and we are again left to feel inferior. What does work is a drastic and scary prospect. Don't diet. Our bodies have an intelligence all their own. We have to learn how to follow our hunger. This may sound simple, and it is, but it's not easy. It takes work to feel worthy amongst overt and subliminal messages that tell us we're not good enough. It behooves us to focus on the positive rather than the negative. And, yet we are compelled to listen to an industry that has let us down for as many times as we have gone to it for solace. Often we try a diet, a pill, or even an operation because we feel desperate. If there were a possibility of feeling comfortable with our own bodies, perhaps we wouldn't need to take such extreme measures.
We can reclaim our right to honor ourselves. We have the freedom to celebrate diversity in size and shape. We needn't continue to feel like failures and go back to the source of our suffering. Why stomach another's regimented diet when we know our own schedules, our likes and dislikes, and our lifestyles better than anyone else does? The greatest secret is that we have a right to respect ourselves with food choices and our body image. We can practice a diet of positive thinking, a diet free of self-loathing and harsh criticisms. We have a wonderful opportunity to live a life in which we experience our own beauty from the inside out.
Janet Zinn is a psychotherapist in private practice in Manhattan. She conducts individual sessions and leads groups addressing body image issues and eating problems. She can be reached at jzinn@infohouse.com
