Eating Disorder Stories
Blinded By The Light Bulb
I just woke up and turned on the lamp next to my bed. Since it's nighttime I was blinding by the brightness of the bulb. A while back I experienced the same type of effect in my life.
I was anorexic and bulimic but I didn't really care. I was also a Christian at the time, although needless to say I was short on faith. The pain seemed almost unbearable at first. With everyday that pasted the pain became normal. I could go days at a time and never notice the impact it had on my life. Then I decided to try and break the cycle. With the guidance of friends I began to realize that to overcome it I would have to eat more than what I thought. So I asked God to help me.
Well when he does something he does it right. No more purging or just letting go of a little to relieve the pain. I had to eat and keep it down. It was like the light that blinded me. When the light of God took over my healing it almost blinded me. I wanted to shrink back from the brightness of it. Just as a light bulb can hurt at first sight, eating hurt me. I would lie on the floor and cry out in agony.
But after a while I was able to eat without the pain. It's like when your eyes get settled into the light as they had done with the darkness. The greatness of it becomes apparent and life changing. After all how would we survive with darkness every hour of everyday of every week? It's a lot easier and less of a hassle to simply turn on the light. With anorexia it's easier to endure the pain and go on to live a normal and healthy life. Besides what good is being thin if I'm dead?
Eva Joy Musick
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