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What Haunts You From The Past?

What Haunts You From The Past?

What do you think would happen if you revisited some of the old ghost towns that haunt your memories?  What if you revisited the house where you grew up and were taught you weren’t a capable person?  Maybe it’s the school where you were taunted and teased and picked last.  Or maybe it’s a person and not a place — a person who withheld approval and affection, though you did everything you could to earn them.

Sometimes the life we live causes stress and sometimes the life we lived causes stress. Each of us is a product of our past. If that past is full of ghosts, that past will haunt the present. To determine if memories of your past are creating stress in your present, ask yourself the following questions:

  1. What negative memories seem to haunt me?  Which events and the pain they caused are still vivid, as though they just happened?
  2. What words or voices from the past are still ringing in my mind today?
  3. If you find that past pain still has power over you today, you need to begin moving out of your past and into the present.  Start moving out of your ghost towns by reminding yourself those days are over.  You may have had no power to stop them negatively affecting your past, but you do have the power to keep them from negatively affecting your present.  Even more, God has the power to redeem those negative events and turn them into good.

Think about the good things of the present and be thankful for them. Think about each of your abilities and gifts and how each has played a part in making you the unique person you are. You will have to make a daily decision to dismiss the hurtful memories of the past and concentrate on the positive things of today, until the past no longer controls your thoughts.

The choice is yours. It will require some risk and demand a deeper trust of yourself and of God, but that will only enhance your growth. In the end, all you will lose are your ghosts of the past. What you will gain is an opportunity to regain control of your life.

We all have the capacity to become what we were meant—created—to be. Our ghosts haunt us and keep us fearful. God means for us, through his power, to break free from the past. Do you believe God has the power and desire to do that for you? Can you say, like the apostle Paul, “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13–14)?

If you or a loved one is struggling with hurtful memories from the past, The Center • A Place of HOPE is here to help.  Our team is skilled at navigating these sensitive issues, and bringing healing to the whole family. For more information, fill out this form or call 1-888-747-5592 to speak confidentially with a specialist today.

 

How Often Do You Express Vented Anger?

How Often Do You Express Vented Anger?

Vented anger, because of its “out there” nature, can be much easier to identify.  However, many people still attempt to diffuse it by calling it other names.

I’d like you to take a look at the following list of words and mark any you identify as part of your anger repertoire.  Be honest and bold.  If you have a loved one or close friend, consider asking him or her to look over the list and discuss it with you.  Other people are a good barometer of what you aren’t able to recognize in yourself.

  • Disappointed
  • Bitter
  • Resentful
  • Critical
  • Controlling
  • Hostile
  • Mean
  • Sarcastic
  • Frustrated
  • Insecure
  • Victimized
  • Destructive
  • Anxious
  • Irritable
  • Impatient
  • Blaming
  • Manipulative
  • Selfish
  • Prideful

All of these can be ways of expressing anger.  Look over your list and answer the following questions.

  1. What do you tell yourself when you feel this way?
  2. Does your thought life escalate or deescalate your feelings?
  3. How do you feel after you express these feelings?
  4. How do you feel about yourself?
  5. How do you feel about anyone else involved?
  6. How do you feel physically?
  7. How long does it take you to get over the feelings?
  8. Do you “replay” the event and the feelings inside your head?
  9. Are you ashamed of how you reacted?
  10. Are you remorseful over how you reacted?
  11. If you could get rid of one of these reactions, which one would it be and why?

Be aware of your anger levels over the next several weeks.  Write down, if you’re able, what you feel and any reasons you determine for feeling that way.  Note any out-of-line or extreme reactions or feelings.  Be sure to write these down for more examination, thought, and prayer.

Above all, remember you have an active partner in this process.  Just as God said to Cain, he says to you: “Why are you angry?  Why is your face downcast?” (Gen.4:6).  There is a why to all of this, a why that can be determined and brought out into the light.

If you or a loved one is struggling with a anger issues, The Center • A Place of HOPE can help.  Call 1-888-771-5166 today and a specialist will answer any questions you might have.