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Real Housewives of Orange County Alexis Bellino admitted that she has struggled with eating disorders since the age of 12.

Alexis said her parents’ divorce helped start her troubled relationship with food.

“Looking back, I think it was my way of controlling something at a time when everything else in my life was out of my control,” said Alexis in an interview with Life & Style magazine.

In college, Alexis started throwing up in order to gain more control over her weight. She would continue this behavior until she sought help in 2002.

Though Alexis says her eating habits aren’t as extreme as they were when she was younger, she admits to remaining obsessed with her weight. On a typical day, Alexis eats fewer than 900 calories.

“It’s not like I’m healed,” she explained. “This haunts me.”